for the lomo girl.

You are the only one I care enough to hurt about.
For your blood runs deep through my veins no doubt.
This story about a young love so emotionally involved,
The saddest distance between us is that a mission is yet to be resolved.
Light of the world are you still here?
Why then are we not illuminating?

Would you think i am crazy if you know i can't live without you my baby?
I want you, I need you, I love you with all my heart.
And as I tell you openly now that i can't do without you apart,
Please please do not break this aching heart.

You are everything I could not find,
A totally amazing mind, so passionate and so enshrined.
You are my character in descries,
Destined to preside achievements of great hope and faith as the time ticks clockwise.
May this love we have never disappear,
It shall never die but always stay near.

when the levee breaks.

Night Terrors - also known as sleep terrors, or pavor nocturnus. night terrors are characterized by an incomplete arousal from slow wave sleep. if, the individual is awakened during a night terror, he/she is usually confused and does not remember details of the event. night terrors are different from nightmares; if an individual is awakened during a nightmare, he/she functions well and may have some recall of the nightmare.

[courtesy of sleepnet.com]

how i utterly hate tuesdays. yes, to the core of the smallest atom.

outrospective.

so many things i wanted to say. yet the words never come out right. it just seem that everything has become a blur. buried in the sand, i dug but it's never deep enough. i wished that things worked out better than what reality and circumstances would allow. my paranoia is unrelenting. it doesn't stop. why am i so emotional? why do i always want the things i could never have? where are the plan Bs? it sickens me. and the irony of it all is i may never be more happy than where i am in this very moment.

i asked. but you wouldn't say. i see it in your eyes. but you wouldn't admit it. i wish you would open up to me. like how you could with him. i envy him. i really do. he knows your heart, thoughts, insecurities and aspirations. i could only make them up with my myopic vision.

will i ever only have the ghost of you? i wish i could be more to you. because i truly love you.

frail.

the fear of abandonment that directs hate into the one person that will never leave: myself.

when i fall apart.

you reveal yourself to me each day,
by the things you do and the words you say.
i felt loved by you in a uncomprehensionable way,
till you let your feelings out to me that day.

your words they cut me like a knife so deep.
for you are the only spark in life i seek.
i felt my world has been torn apart.
and it seems like everything has grown so dark.

i never meant for you to portray our relationship this way,
but my actions must have led us both astray.
could we start afresh altogether if you may,
and hopefully i can make it up to you someday.

i make no secret how much i love you.
and i would die a thousand deaths to be with you.
for you, my faith shall remain strong.
with you, all my fears will be far gone.